Shortly after the Mindful Breathing Meditation, I taught my Yoga class and then logged into our Meditation Workshop Class. This time I talked about how much I struggled with the Pranayama and how defeated I was feeling with it. Kati quickly assured me that Pranayama is not for everyone and not everyone can do it for long periods of time. Kati mentioned some physical obstacles to Pranayama, such as allergies, that would not allow someone to practice for a long period of time. I noted that I did enjoy learning about the mudras and that I didn't mind a short Pranayama practice perhaps at the beginning of a class. I felt much more comfortable with my experience during the Pranayama class after speaking with Kati about it.
After the Meditation Workshop Class, I went on to the Body Scan Meditation. My journal entry afterward read as this:
Seated Meditation w. Kita
“I got three quarters of the way through the meditation in my chair and then had to move to my back on my mat. I felt pain and soreness at the base of my neck and between my shoulder blades, and my cat (Kita), for the first time ever, jumped up into my lap and would not leave me be. When I got to my mat, it felt better but I was cold and extremely restless. I just wanted to roll over and pass out. I am feeling exhausted again. I didn't have any particular feelings or sensations other than at times I could no longer feel my hands and feet. I think I may take a nap now, I am absolutely exhausted.”
After I wrote this journal entry, I laid down in bed, on my left side, for approximately twenty minutes. I did not sleep, but I just felt I needed to lay on my left side for a while. I got up after this and felt refreshed. I spent the rest of the evening relaxing after I ate my dinner. Eventually I went to bed and slept well.
The next morning I was up early for our Theory class. I really enjoyed joining the theory classes in the mornings because I got to see the entire group and hear about their experiences within the workshops as well. That morning Kati talked about what practicing loving kindness looked like and how to guide our students through a meditation. After this class I moved on to the final two meditations. I laid down on my mat for the Guided Energy Centering Meditation. My journal entry for it read as this:
“I had a difficult time focussing at first but I got into it and really focussed shortly after. I felt open and ready. My heart began to race and pound. My throat felt normal, no real sensations. My heart continued to race throughout and I smiled anytime we were in the heart. The solar plexus didn't create any sensations, but in the lower belly I frowned. I didn't cry, my lip didn't quiver, but I frowned intensely. I stayed in the meditation for a few minutes after Kati left. I had numerous twitches throughout the meditation and it was an arm twitch that brought me out of it.”
I really enjoyed this meditation as it allowed me to really connect with my energy and my body. I found it very fascinating how I had no control over my reactions in the different areas of the body. In my heart I smiled, and in my lower belly I frowned. This just happened, I did not put any effort into it. Shortly after I taught my Yoga class and then logged into the next Meditation Workshop class. I told the class about my experience with this meditation and left the class feeling very content.
I spent that evening relaxing and then decided to do the Guided Loving Kindness Meditation later that night. My journal entry afterward read as this:
“May we all be safe. May we all be happy. May we all be healthy. May we all live in trust and ease. For the first fifteen minutes of this meditation I had a lump in my throat. But I was able to bring my biggest abusers to the forefront of my mind and tell each one of them individually that I wished them safe, happy, healthy, trust, and ease and then tell them as a group (they are family) the same. This is the first time in my life that I have wished them well. This is a major milestone for me! After Kati's voice recording ended, I wished my YogaUnion family well, imagining us all standing in a circle, holding hands in the Bali Yoga Shalla. Then I wished my own Yoga Students well. Then Kita and I stood over the world and wished everyone well. I was almost in tears thinking about my YogaUnion family because they have all truly touched my heart and soul. I am blessed. The lump in my throat was gone by then as well. Now I am exhausted and must sleep.”
I went to sleep that night feeling very blessed and content. The next day would be the last day of the training and I was looking forward to our last class in the morning.
To be continued...